Image from brookadelphiaThere are some things in this life that are hard to puzzle out. Like feminism. That's probably lost me a lot of readership. But I've thought long and hard for many years now about how a modern (or post-post-modern, if you will) woman should go about engaging with the world, and negotiating her femininity, and I also thought it would be cool to do a post on post post modernism...
Now, this isn't a chance for me to be prescriptive or explain how I think the right way to be a woman. (Not that a similar post isn't in my head right now!) Nor is it a place to get cranky with others in the comments section - just more to ponder some of the choices made and why we make them. But I should say at the outset that there's nothing that makes me angrier than people - men and women - who just don't consider the issues at all. Those who think that you need 'balls' to achieve, and the list goes on. (I'm reminded by the scene in Legally Blonde where the cool feminista lectures everyone on using 'ovester' instead of 'semester'...He he.)
But the issue I really want to look at here is marriage.
Image from Golly Molly
I'm in my mid-twenties, and more and more people around me are partnering up in marriages or de facto relationships. And I guess I have been surprised at how many of these women (the married ones) have changed their surnames. I began to wonder, am I post-modern and all the new po-po-mo gals are doing it differently? Some feel the same as me, and others wonder about the future of marriage itself.
For me, I couldn't imagine having a different name to my own - it would be like assuming a different identity in marriage, and I really like the one I have. (The identity and the name.) I also can't help but think it has some disturbing throwbacks to women-as-chattel.
But I am not opposed to weddings or the institution of marriage, despite hating the exclusiveness of marriage being only for heterosexuals and the throwing of the bouquet. I know that's not even the most offensive part, but I can't stand being harangued into a group of giggly, slightly boozy gals trying to catch a bunch of flowers.
I'm all for getting my competitive on, but how humiliating!
But then I've also been to a lot of weddings of proud and independent women who have had beautiful services and thoroughly lovely receptions which don't smack of inequity in any way.
So is there a way to have certain strong beliefs and reservations about marriage and still get married? Is it really all or nothing? Do I accidentally sound like a SATC neurotic voice over? And then there's the complicated part of what name do the children have. This is a question which a lot of thought has gone into, and I still don't know where I sit.
Perhaps a good answer would just be to commit random acts of feminism - this is a fabulous list which I think I might print out and keep in my wallet!
I'd love to know what you all think. Is there anything you have thought long and hard about concerning feminism? Do you even adhere to the label? What gets your goat when it comes to the behaviour of others? Will you, or have you, kept your name? Will you change it? Of course it should go without saying that men and women can answer all of these.
By the way, the most fabulous necklace ever is available from the fabulous Brookadelphia (it's like Brooklyn and Philadelphia! How can that be?!) on Etsy, the best place from which to buy anything. Check out their other fabulous creations - you will not be disappointed!